Germerican Denglish

I saw this incredibly funny post the other day, so I decided to borrow some of the lines, add some of my own, and put a David Letterman style twist on it.  So I present to you:

The Top 10 Ways to Know You Are From Oregon

10.  You’ve worn shorts, sandals/flip-flops and a parka at the same time.

9.  You measure distance in hours.

8.  You go shopping in Washington just to make them take off the sales tax.

7.  You are offended whenever you hear someone say “Or-u-gone”

6.  You think that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it’s not a real mountain.

5.  You don’t understand what’s so funny about ducks or beavers for mascots.

4.  You own one of those “Orygun”, “Or-ee-gun”, or “Native Since 19..” bumper stickers

3.  You have complained that the “Californians” are ruining everything.

2.  You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

1.  You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Clatskanie, Issaquah, Umpqua, Yakima, Willamette, and OREGON.

And so those from the rural part of the state don’t feel left out, I present:

The Top 5 Reasons You Know You Are From Central, Southern or Eastern Oregon

5.  You think driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice.

4.   You mumble every election that is doesn’t matter what you vote, the people from Portland and the Willamette valley decide everything anyway.

3.  You have complained that the “Californians” and everyone from Portland are ruining everything.

2.  You install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked.

1.  You can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.